How to Create the Ultimate Bachelor Pad

Few men go through a stage in their life where they are lucky/unfortunate enough to live on their own and have expendable income. But when this does happen, he can seize the opportunity to create for himself something that many man would go to great lengths for, a bachelor pad.

First you need to be a single, second you need some money and third you will need a pad. You’re only limitations are your imagination, funds and spare time. Shop around for an apartment in the city, this is the place to be for a bachelor, if you can afford to buy that’s great, if not, you can usually find what you’re looking for to rent. Bear in mind that you can’t modify a rented apartment too much. You will have to go through the usual stuff, location, size, price etc, but you know what you want so go for it.

Once you have your property get planning, your pad should reflect your personality, unless you’re an ass, so start thinking about colour schemes, whether you want high-tech-sci-fi cubism or luxury leopard print-lined shagedelia. You are the one who will be living there so choose what you want, but be aware that if you want people to hang out there, particularly girls, it needs to be inviting and comfortable. Small rooms benefit from light, minimalist colours but if you have a large space at your disposal then try mixing in some dark, masculine colours.

Choose furniture that makes an impact, in an apartment one of the most prominent things you own will be your sofa, go for the biggest you can and preferably L-shaped as this is both stylish AND an efficient use of space. Pick a colour that either matches your decor or compliments it; black and white are usually safe choices but red will make even more of an impact and rarely clashes with other colours. Definitely go for leather, there is no real substitute, it needs to be leather. You’re not a girl so you don’t need lots of throw pillows but a few funky ones here and there could work.

Some apartments have decent lighting but if yours doesn’t, be sure to pick our some funky mood lighting. Don’t go mad on colours, you’re not hosting a disco, but some dramatic low level lighting with a few feature pieces should do the trick. No pad would be complete without a killer entertainment system; it’s a status symbol and the electronic equivalent of your manhood. Chose the biggest, best TV you can afford, don’t just go big and cheap as your fellow bachelors will notice this and ridicule you for it. Go just as big with your surround sound, in an apartment it doesn’t really need to be all that loud but go for quality, some nice stand alone speakers really set off a system. Be sure to get the latest gaming console so you and your buddies have the chance to battle it out for the alpha-nerd.

Don’t even begin to think of doing this without having your own bar, preferably with some bar stools. This will act as your seduction bait, pre-drinking den and the place for every after party. It will get you girls, friends and cement your social status as the party animal you obviously are.

Lastly, every bachelor pad needs that one obscene, unnecessary indulgence that sets it apart from the rest of us schmucks. This could be a pinball machine, golf simulator, Jacuzzi. The more ridiculous the better, you should have no need for it whatsoever and barely ever use it other than to impress people. If you have a balcony, perhaps you could invest in a BBQ with twelve separate grills and a kebab machine. Imagine the look on your friends faces when they find you have the front half of a Ford Mustang as an office desk, “Yeh, found it on eBay and just HAD to have it, couldn’t buy food this month but totally worth it!” Finally, sit back and enjoy it, because you can be sure it won’t last.